Date Night

Working, school, taking care of kids, and life in general, getting some quality time with my husband is not always the easiest to do. After a month or so we both take a breath and realize, hey we miss each other. This is when date night is planned. We are sure to make date night a regular occurrence in our lives.

Our date night is often once a month although it has been sooner and one the rare occasion longer. We take the opportunity to get out of the house and away from everyday life. We usually opt for a quiet dinner out. This gives us time to talk without distraction. Our choices are restaurants with booths that make us feel secluded from the other patrons. When we took out date night to a busy open restaurant with individual chairs we overheard conversations at other tables, focused on the passing children, or were even quiet towards each other because we could not hear each other fully due to the celebrating large table close by.

Date night does not have to be at a restaurant. Take it to the movie theater and snuggle during the showing. Share a bag of m&ms, meet in the popcorn bucket, sip on the same straw. Take a drive away from the city lights and share a dessert on a picnic blanket then dance to your song on the radio. This is an intimate encounter for you both. Leave others out of it.

Date night doesn't have to be an evening affair. Plan an afternoon picnic, a hand-holding stroll through a museum, take a drive to an undetermined destination. The point is to have quality time together for several hours.

Intimacy on date night is just as important. Reconnect. Hold hands, exchange a kiss, embrace one another. Sex is just a small part of your intimate encounter. Intimacy takes place before, during, and after.
Someone once told me when you get married it does not mean you stop dating or courting. You continue to put effort into building a relationship and learning about each other. Taking time to focus on one other is how you do this. Away from the kids, the bills, the plumbing issues.

My first marriage failed because we never focused on each other outside the bed. We rarely took time for each other after we married. Before marriage we took weekend trips to Laughlin, NV (a 9 hour drive), we knew each others dreams and supported them, we went out for a drink. After we got married we fell into a routine of a married couple with a young child and long hours of work. We stopped taking weekend trips, we forgot about each others dreams. We stopped going out unless it was with friends. We had the young child before marriage so it wasn't the addition, our dreams didn't change, our jobs didn't change. We were able to make time before marriage. We just forgot to do it after marriage. We separated less than a year into marriage.

My second marriage is successful with lessons learned from my first. We take time out. If he needs time, he tells me. I do the same. We listen. We talk. We take time out. Date night is very important to every relationship. Take time to schedule your date night. Make it intimate and focused on each other.

Olivia Vidal
Romance Specialist

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